In April of 2009 I posted an entry about two of my aunts. They were the last connections I had to my parents (who died when I was young) and to my childhood. That fall I had an entry about losing one of those aunts to cancer. I continued to visit the other aunt on a weekly basis until last summer. At that time she really started slipping. It reached the point where visits were not the happy experiences they'd always been, for either of us. Her sitters told me that for hours after I left she would be hard to handle. I made the difficult decision to stop visiting. As much as I wanted to see her, I hated the thought that my visits disrupted her. In recent months I knew that she was spending more and more time sleeping. Last week she had a stroke. Sunday she left us.
I've had fleeting moments of guilt that I stopped going to see her. However, my older brother told me guilt is a wasted emotion and that I'd been there for her during the time of her life that it really mattered.
She was buried today, followed by a celebration of her life at our church. At 99 years of age and in poor health, she'd been ready to join the rest of her family for quite some time. Therefore, there really wasn't any sadness. We smiled, shared fond memories, and rejoiced at the reunion we knew was taking place in heaven!
What makes me sad is knowing that she was the last. The last of her generation on both sides of my family. It feels strange to know that my cousins and I are now the oldest generation... and out of fourteen of us, three have already died!
- Kelly
- Making my way through the ups and downs of life, holding fast to my favorite Bible verse: "For we walk by faith, not by sight." ~2 Corinthians 5:7. I began blogging in earnest at Yahoo360 on October 24, 2005. (briefly using LiveJournal and blog-city prior to that) In June 2008 I moved to Blogger. I'm now at WordPress where I hope to remain.
11 comments:
Guilt is a wasted emotion. You did what you honestly believed was the right thing to do. Your aunt is in a much better place now, and that's all that matters really.
Kelly, it may be an "end" of one era, but it could also be an exciting beginning to another. Just think of the impact you can make (and are already making) on your living relatives ... nieces, nephews, children, grandchildren, etc.) And the thing about blogging is that it wasn't available back in the day. So, you're influencing and encouraging more people now through your testimony and by sharing it this way than what was possible in the past.
Sorry to hear of your loss. It sounds like you visited your aunt at a time when it was very meaningful to both of you.
May you find the peace that only He can give, Friend!
That was the sad part of her death--the fact that she was our last living link to her generation in our family.
Like you, I do know that the reunion in Heaven was fantastic! The "Girls" are together again.
My sympathies for your loss. It is sad to realize that the last link to that generation is gone. I imagine she was ready to see everyone again. And don't waste time on guilt. You made that decision in her best interests. Hugs to you.
Kelly,
I am sincerely sorry for your
loss. Though I realise how
difficult your decision must
have been for you.
With a hug,
Raven
Hey Kelly . . . I heard about this and smiled when I thought of these aunts because I knew them. They were precious -- like you.
You carry them with you.
Kelly, My thoughts and prayers are with you--it is always hard to lose a loved one. Yes, there comes a time when we take up the challenge and become the leaders of the family. Have a peaceful Easter weekend. Mickie :)
Thank you for all your kind comments! I really do appreciate them.
So sorry for your loss. I know what you mean about hanging on to your relatives. My dad died 10 years ago and although I have my mom (she lives with us), I treasure the times I spend with my dad's siblings.
Please know that you have someone who knows your loss and doesn't even know you.
I am late, but still sorry for your loss. It is always painful to lose loved ones, no matter how old they are, and even when the circumstances point towards death being the only relief from suffering. And I can see how her being the "last" making you sad. My grandmother was the youngest of 12 children, and she always spoke of the many joys of having a large family - and the many sorrows, since they all died, one after another. But she didn't live to see the last one die, and can't have known how sad it was for those left behind seeing the entire generation gone.
I really like the idea of having a celebration of her life, though. I think the "best" kind of funerals are those where people both laugh and cry. It shows that the person they "celebrate" led a rich life.
Cruella, Diane - I appreciate both your kind, personal messages. Thank you!
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