The end of an era

In April of 2009 I posted an entry about two of my aunts.  They were the last connections I had to my parents (who died when I was young) and to my childhood.  That fall I had an entry about losing one of those aunts to cancer.  I continued to visit the other aunt on a weekly basis until last summer.  At that time she really started slipping.  It reached the point where visits were not the happy experiences they'd always been, for either of us.  Her sitters told me that for hours after I left she would be hard to handle.  I made the difficult decision to stop visiting.  As much as I wanted to see her, I hated the thought that my visits disrupted her.  In recent months I knew that she was spending more and more time sleeping.  Last week she had a stroke.  Sunday she left us. 

I've had fleeting moments of guilt that I stopped going to see her.  However, my older brother told me guilt is a wasted emotion and that I'd been there for her during the time of her life that it really mattered. 

She was buried today, followed by a celebration of her life at our church.  At 99 years of age and in poor health, she'd been ready to join the rest of her family for quite some time.  Therefore, there really wasn't any sadness.  We smiled, shared fond memories, and rejoiced at the reunion we knew was taking place in heaven!

What makes me sad is knowing that she was the last.  The last of her generation on both sides of my family.  It feels strange to know that my cousins and I are now the oldest generation... and out of fourteen of us, three have already died!   

Airplane photos

For those of you who seemed entertained by the thought of me as a pilot, I dug out a couple of photos to share with you. The top photo is my flight instructor and me standing in front of the airplane I learned to fly in, a 2-seater Cessna. If I remember correctly, the photo was taken right after I made my first solo flight. It's the same plane I was in when the incident I described here took place.

The lower photo, a Piper Cherokee Warrior, is the airplane my husband and I bought into with several of my husband's cousins. A 4-seater, it was more practical than the Cessna rental we learned in.

Remembering Daisy

We lost Daisy Mae three years ago, but she's been on my mind lately. I decided to repeat this post which originally appeared on my Yahoo 360 blog.

It's never easy losing a dog. I don't care if you've had them many years or only a few months. Once they've had a chance to work their way into your heart.....you're hooked.

It was the first week of May, 2002. At the time we had three dogs living in the house: Betty (the beagle mix), JJ, and Esther (both rottweilers). The only outside dog was Jake, a squirrel dog we had been given by a friend. If I remember correctly, it was a rainy day when two absolutely pitiful looking puppies showed up in our yard. We live in a rural area where dogs are free to roam, so dogs would often appear for a day or two before moving on. Usually they belonged to someone and were just passing through. These two had obviously been dumped. Despite feeling guilty, I tried to shoo them on without looking at them too closely. It worked for one night.

The smaller one with the swollen face came back the next day. She had either been hit by a car or beaten. Her jaw appeared broken and she looked near death. We had to help her! Her confidence that we would take her in led us to name her "Hope".

Less than a week later the second puppy came back. She was even more emaciated than before (if that was possible) and looked like she'd been in a fight. This time I couldn't turn her away. My husband was won over when he saw her chase a squirrel across the front yard. (Jake, the squirrel dog, was gun shy and had absolutely no interest in squirrels!) My daughter named her "Daisy Mae".

The vet estimated that Hope was about four months old and Daisy about six months. Antibiotics, baths, plenty of good food and lots of love worked wonders! They thrived and grew by the day. By the end of the summer, they had both been spayed and were settled in to their new life with us.

Daisy never became the squirrel dog my husband had hoped for. Daisy liked rabbits!! I'll never forget the first time we heard her pick up a trail and set out. We thought she had been hurt because she sounded like she was in agony!! Her "hunting bay" was a high-pitched yip that could be heard from far away. I can't begin to count the times I heard her yipping in the distance! She and Hope had an efficient system for hunting. When being chased, rabbits tend to run in a big circle. As Daisy chased the rabbit, Hope would silently bring up the rear and snag the bunny when it circled back. What a team!

I often feared their lifestyle would catch up with them at some point. I didn't know if it would be a car (though they were both fairly "street smart"), getting shot by a hunter (though most hunters in our area knew and liked them) or illness. In the end it was illness that got Daisy.

I first noticed a change in her behavior around Thanksgiving. She wasn't eating well (though this was often the case during hunting season when “deer parts” were plentiful), seemed lethargic and was losing weight. We took her to the vet and discovered she was running a high fever. Her symptoms indicated it was most likely a tick-borne disease. Despite collars, dusting and other treatments, ticks have always been an unfortunate reality for our outside dogs. The vet gave her a shot and we kept her on antibiotics for a month. Within 24 hours of the shot, Daisy was acting like a new dog!! All the more reason to believe it was Erlychia or something similar. Angus, our first rottie, had Erlychia when he was two and went on to live another seven years. I felt hopeful Daisy's life would get back to normal. It did, but only for awhile.

I noticed late one afternoon last week that she was moving more slowly. I got her started on antibiotics the next morning and she spent most of that day in the doghouse. It was cold and drizzly, so I didn't think anything about it. I just assumed the medicine would kick in like it did before. The following morning she wouldn't come out of the doghouse. We were shocked to see how quickly she had deteriorated! Her breathing was labored and she'd lost control of her body. We rushed her to the vet where we were told that her prognosis wasn't good. I had to make the difficult decision to have her put down.

I stayed with her until it was over. I wanted my voice and touch to be the last things she knew.... for her to know that I loved her.

I don't regret my decision. Nor do I regret allowing her to run loose in the woods all her life. She was a happy dog with warm gentle eyes that never left us any doubt that she loved us.

If I close my eyes, I can hear her now. She’s across the Rainbow Bridge, hot on the trail of a rabbit, her high-pitched yip fading in the distance…..

Daisy Mae
c. November 2001 ~ January 17, 2008

More Decorations

Last week I posted about my angel band. Here are some more decorations that I originally shared on my Yahoo 360 blog. You can click on the photos to enlarge them for better viewing.


This first photo is my mantle full of Christmas "stuff". I've added quite a few items in recent years, but some of these things are 40 or 45 years old! We use to actually use the dog salt and pepper shakers on our dinner table. I like them best. And how about that little egg whisk!

I assume we got this Nativity set in 1963, the year stamped on the bottom of each piece, and it's been my responsibility to set up ever since. Well, maybe I had a little help those first few years. Only during my college years did it stay packed away during the holidays. There use to be a light bulb that nestled above the star painted in the background and I could sit forever in the darkness, viewing the scene by "starlight" and marveling at the miracle of Christmas.

Angel Band

I do my share of grumbling when it comes to decorating for Christmas and if my younger daughter didn't always help me, it just might not get done.

This little band of angels is one of my favorite Christmas decorations. I don't recall where they came from, but I've set them out for as many years as I can remember! They're really nothing special... just little painted pieces of plastic. If you click to enlarge the photo, you'll notice one is even missing its stand. I don't remember when or how that happened, it may have always been that way. No matter, though, these angels are special to me and I look forward to setting them out each year.

The old swimming hole

When my husband and I married 25 years ago, we decided to move to the country to raise our kids. We preferred the county school system and liked the idea of having some "space" around us. Our next big decision was to put in a swimming pool. We liked swimming as kids, both of us swimming by age two, and wanted our kids to have that same opportunity.

We never regretted the decision. Though my husband rarely swam (except to cool down occasionally after mowing the lawn), the kids and I used it every summer. When they got older and I knew they didn't always want "mom" out there, I could watch from the window. It was enjoyed on a regular basis.

Things changed once the kids finished high school. They no longer came home for long stretches and it became obvious how costly it was (both in time and money) to keep the pool up and running, only to get very little use. The past two summers it didn't get opened at all.

We knew the practical thing to do. Fill it in. I was 100% in agreement with the decision. It will make a wonderful garden spot next summer. Still....now that the deed is done, I'm feeling a bit sad.

Shortly after the pool was put in.

Today.


*Sigh*

FreeVerse - Haiku for Mother's Day

Hosted by Cara at Ooh...Books!
(click on image above)

What a pleasant surprise to find out I had the winning entry at Cara's! I don't claim to be a poet, but I really enjoy Haiku and have tried my hand at writing it a few times. You can see samples here, here, and again here.

In memory of my mother and my aunt, I've attempted a series of Haiku for this week's FreeVerse. To give some background, my mother died when I was seventeen and one of my father's sisters stepped in to try and fill the void. Some of these may not work that well individually, but I hope as a grouping they convey some of the emotions surrounding these events.


I was seventeen
When she departed this world
I still needed her

Taken far too soon
Thirty-four years have gone by
Time eases the pain

No kids of her own
She only wanted to help
I pushed her away

She is gone now, too
I hope she knew in the end
How much I loved her

It wasn't until
I had children of my own
That I understood

Each one leaves the nest
Taking with them as they fly
A piece of my heart

All Aboard!

When I was a little girl my dad had a fantastic model train set. Laid out in a U-shape, it covered the equivalent of about three ping-pong tables and included residential, industrial, and business districts. My favorite thing was the haunted house with buttons I could push to make different colors flash in the windows.

I received an e-mail from my cousin featuring a model train set that puts my dad's to shame! I believe things like this bring out the child in all of us. Check it out!

The Etiquette of Letter Writing

Do you have etiquette questions regarding letter writing, invitations, announcements, or visiting cards? If so, I'm your "go to" person! Maybe I should clarify that. I'm your "go to" person only if you are interested in what was proper in the 1920s!




This clever little volume, published in 1927 by Eaton, Crane & Pike Company, measures about 3 x 5 inches and contains 155 pages. As you can see by the table of contents, it covers a wide variety of topics to assist in dealing with the problems of social correspondence.




To quote page three: "There is nothing more indicative of good breeding and refinement of taste than correspondence; and today, when the expert assistance of stationers, engravers and authorities on the etiquette of correspondence is readily placed at everyone's disposal, there is no excuse for the mistakes sometimes seen."




So what are you waiting for?? Ask those burning questions and I'll provide the answers! (but only if they're covered in the book...)

The Birth of the Blues

Here's a fun clip my cousin sent me. Maybe you will enjoy it, too.

Favorite Five - Holiday Eating/Drinking

I'm sure all of you have certain snacks, dishes or drinks that you associate with specific holidays. You know... Grandma's plum pudding at Christmas or Aunt Sally's homemade peach ice cream on the 4th of July. Or maybe it's just the candy corn you always buy for Halloween.

My family does a lot of holiday eating. We often try new recipes, but there are a few staples that I always look forward to. Here are some of my favorite holiday treats:

1. Cornbread Dressing - I've been making dressing for Thanksgiving since my mother died when I was 17. My version might be a wee bit different from hers, but I still follow her advice for keeping it moist. "When you think it's sloppy enough, add a little more broth!"

2. Stuffed Eggs - Some folks call them deviled eggs. No matter what they're called, they're wonderful. In recent years my younger daughter has taken over the task of preparing them for our holiday celebrations.

3. Cadbury Eggs - This treat is only available in our area at Easter. Not only do I love them, so do my kids. I'll never forget the look on my son's face when he saw his first Cadbury vending machine in the London underground a few years ago.

4. Sun Dried Tomato & Pesto Torte - Cheese is one of my absolute favorite foods! I treat myself and my sister to this yummy snack each holiday season.

5. Sparkling Catawba Juice - There wasn't much alcohol in our household when I was growing up. My dad knew he couldn't drink, therefore we just didn't have it around. Instead, we toasted special occasions with non-alcoholic Catawba juice. Though I no longer drink, during my "partying" days I preferred Catawba to real Champagne. Welch's sells several varieties, but the sparkling white grape juice remains my favorite.

Have you got any favorite holiday treats?

A pot of soup

It got cold this week. Perfect weather for soup!

My mother made a wonderful vegetable soup when I was growing up. She's been gone for many years now, but my sister and I have carried on the tradition with our own takes on the original. Mine has evolved into more of a cabbage-tomato-barley soup. Here's how I make it:

Put a soupbone, an onion or two, and some seasonings in a soup pot half filled with water. Bring to a boil then simmer about 45 minutes to an hour to form the stock. After removing the soupbone add a chopped head of cabbage, some diced fresh carrots, a large can of crushed tomatoes, and a can of tomato paste. Top off with tomato juice until the soup pot is full. Simmer on medium low heat all day. An hour or so before serving add a can of green beans (drained) and about 3/4 cup of barley.

Mmm, mmm good!

More decorations

While on the topic of decorations, here are the links (if they work right) to a couple of entries from my old 360 blog.

This entry about our mantel is from Christmas 2007.

I wrote this entry mentioning our creche in 2006.

How lazy is this.... recycling old blog entries!!

Decorating

I don't remember when or why I began decorating so early for Christmas. I draw the line at starting before Thanksgiving, but anytime after the dishes have been washed and the leftovers put away is fair game. This year my younger daughter and I spread the work out between Friday and Saturday.

I'm not much of a "pack rat", but there are some things I have a hard time parting with, Christmas decorations being one of them. My dad hand painted our names on glass ornaments when I was a little girl. I still have one survivor. My mother was quite "crafty" and I treasure the tablecloth she made representing the "Twelve Days of Christmas". It's starting to look worn in places. I have many of the decorations my kids made over the years, though some of them stay in the boxes and don't get displayed anymore. Any sort of decorative container that a gift arrived in has been packed away to set out in following years.

Earlier this month we got some new flooring in a few areas of our home. It required moving lots of stuff around, so I took the opportunity to clean out. As we pulled out the boxes of Christmas decorations this weekend I realized I was still in clean-out mode. I'd recently made a plea in the church bulletin on behalf of our craft group asking for old decorations no longer being used. It was easy to sort through my decorations with a critical eye and move a number of them to a box for the church.

Perhaps someday I'll be able to put into practice the words of my favorite architect.

"Less is more".

Easy Party Chicken

Once upon a time many years ago there was a recipe that my aunt called "Easy Party Chicken". Everyone in my family loved it and we referred to it as "Bacon Wrapped Chicken". In February of 2001 I decided I wanted to become a vegetarian. Selfishly, I said if I couldn't have Bacon Wrapped Chicken then no one could have Bacon Wrapped Chicken. Shame on me. Time passed and we all forgot about the dish.

Last Spring I decided I had been a vegetarian for long enough. I've had my first taste of new recipes my family has enjoyed over the past eight years as well as pulling out many old favorites. A few weeks ago my son mentioned Bacon Wrapped Chicken. It hadn't been spoken of in years and I'd totally forgotten about it! I haven't been able to get it off my brain since then.

Last night I had everyone here for supper. Speckled butter beans, rice and.... Bacon Wrapped Chicken!! Mmmmmmm. It was everything I remembered!

Easy Party Chicken

4-6 boneless chicken breasts
dried beef - 1 jar
1 carton sour cream
1 can cream of celery/or chicken/or mushroom soup
1 Tablespoon worcestershire sauce
1 small onion, chopped
1/2 tsp. instant chicken bouillion
butter

Butter casserole dish and line bottom with dried beef. Wrap chicken breasts in bacon slices and place on the dried beef. Sprinkle with chopped onion.

Mix soup, sour cream worcestershire sauce and instant bouillion. Pour over chicken and spot with butter.

Cook uncovered at 275 degrees for 3 hours or shorter time with higher heat. It will be lightly browned on top. This can be frozen ahead of time and then cooked.

Favorite Five – Words

Words are an important part of our everyday life. Reading, speaking, listening… we all use them. Etymology is important to some folks and there are several “daily word” sites, such as the one I subscribe to, which provide this along with pronunciation, meaning and an example of usage.

I like words. You may not think you do, but surely there are a few you like better than others. I’ll tell you mine if you’ll tell me yours…. and please, keep it “G-rated”.

1. Vacuum - Hands down, this is my all-time favorite word. I love the sound of it and especially like spelling it aloud! There’s something about those “u”s.

2. Ominous – I remember learning this word not in spelling, but as a vocabulary word from a story in school. It was used in reference to “ominous clouds” before a storm and I’ve used it in weather discussions ever since.

3. Business - When I learned to type in High School (on an Underwood manual), I liked the way this word seemed to flow from my fingers. Why this particular word I don’t know, but it always just “felt” right.

4. Ombudsman – A fascinating word! I rarely see or hear it, but when I do it jumps out at me. Mainly, I think, because it’s such an awkward word that doesn’t flow from the lips easily. (interesting note: When I checked its spelling in my dictionary, I discovered it’s on the same page as “ominous”.) (additional note: Yes, I tend to use a real dictionary more than “spell-check”.)

5. Viaduct – This is not a word most small children know. However, due to having one over our community’s train yard near the downtown, I would venture to say most kids in our area are familiar with the word. When I was little, it was a known fact that if you didn’t hold your breath the entire time you drove over it, a murderer would come to your house that night and chop off your head while you slept!

Pilots & Controllers

WhiteStone has a good entry at her blog today about the Northwest pilots who recently lost their jobs after overshooting their intended destination.

When I first heard about the incident, it brought to mind something that happened to me a long time ago. Those who read my 360 blog might remember an entry where I told about getting my single engine pilot’s license (VFR) shortly after I got married. My husband was bound and determined to get his and with a history of heart disease in his family, I decided I needed to have mine, too. I sure didn’t want to get caught up in the air with him and not be able to land the plane if I ever had to!

I have no idea what getting a license these days entails. At that time, one of the requirements was to plan a “long cross country” flight. It had to include stops at several different airports, one of which had to be a specific distance away. It was a lengthy solo flight and required refueling at one point. My flight plan took me from Arkansas to Texas, then to Louisiana before returning home. As I neared the final airport on my route, the tower put me on a heading for approach. I complied, saw the airport ahead of me, and then watched as it receded into the distance behind me! I called the tower again and it was obvious what had happened. They’d forgotten about me!! I could hear laughter in the background! I was already pretty nervous, so it was no laughing matter to me at the time (even though I can tell the story now and it seems funny). Once I landed, I vaguely remember getting my log book initialed by someone on the ground then getting back in the air as soon as possible to get back home.

My experience was pretty trivial in the big scheme of things. It was just me. But you think about the hundreds of flights each day carrying hundreds of people from one place to another. It’s important that pilots AND controllers stay vigilant and never get complacent.

High Heels in Heaven

I posted an entry a few months ago in which I mentioned my two elderly aunts and how I’d made a conscious effort to spend more time with them. I’m so glad now that I did.

A tiny woman, my mother’s sister had always worn high heels. When she was first diagnosed with cancer and began treatments, she purchased a new pair of heels. Wearing them was to be her reward once she was well enough.
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My aunt lost her battle with cancer this past week. She was 91. I know she had a full, generous and productive life. I know the past two years had been a real challenge. I know she had reached a point where she was ready to go. Still, selfishly, I grieve.

She was laid to rest yesterday in a blue suit and a pair of red patent leather pumps… with 4-inch heels.

Just the thought makes me smile.

Betty's Birthday

Betty has made it to double digits! Today is her 10th birthday!!! If she could talk, she would probably comment on all the changes in her life during the past year. With the exception of Esther, the entire dog line-up has changed including a couple of temporary puppy litters. She would most likely say the worst thing has been the addition of Alice and Mabel. Even though she has learned to tolerate them and even plays with them some, she never hesitates to set things straight if they encroach on her personal space.

In honor of Betty’s birthday I’m posting a piece I originally did for Pearl Soup and then later put on my 360 blog. Most of you have already seen it, but I felt the need to post it again. I still sometimes think about Veronica and wonder what if...

Veronica
January 17, 2002

The plan was to teach my children responsibility. However, life doesn’t always follow our plans.

My friend, Shelley, called me in late August of 1999 with news that Ethel, her lemon-spotted beagle, had unexpectedly given birth to two puppies. She claimed that I had volunteered to take whatever might come of the union after laughing at her distress over finding Ethel and Oscar together earlier in the summer. I still have no memory of making such a rash statement. At first I told her I didn’t want them, but my children begged and pleaded giving me all sorts of reasons why we should get the puppies. The more I thought about it, the more their reasons made sense. They had always wanted a dog that they could actually hold… even as a full-grown dog. We had a rottweiler living in the house at the time with plans to get two more later in the fall. They assured me they would take care of the puppies themselves. I figured it would be a great lesson in responsibility. That is how Betty and Veronica came to be part of our lives.

They arrived at our house on a Saturday in October. I really don’t think I’ve ever seen puppies any cuter than those two. The mix of beagle and squirrel dog made a beautiful combination. I have to give my children credit. Parents always hear that line: “Don’t worry, Mom, you won’t have to do anything…we’ll do it all ourselves”. In this case, they actually did. They fed the pups, kept their water bowl filled, played with them, went with me to take them to the vet for all their puppy shots… all the things a responsible pet-owner does. In the late afternoon, they would sit on the back steps and sing to the puppies while holding them in their laps and stroking them until the puppies went to sleep. As a mother, it warmed my heart to see that my children could show such compassion.

Winter came and things had settled into a routine around our house. We had added two rottweiler pups in November who were living in the house. Our household had basically “gone to the dogs”, but we were loving every minute of it!

One Sunday afternoon in February, my daughter called to her brother to come help feed the pups then headed out the back door. She immediately came running back in calling for me to come help. Betty and Veronica were fighting and she was afraid that one of them was hurt! I rushed outside and began hollering at the dogs to break it up. I could see that Betty had Veronica pinned and wouldn’t turn her loose. My husband came rushing out at that point to try and separate them. He sent me back in for a gun. I realize this sounds cruel, but he didn’t know if he would need it to put a dying dog out of its misery or put down a vicious dog. We couldn’t have been more wrong about the situation and the results were tragic. Piecing it all together, we realized an entirely different scenario than a fight had taken place.

Betty and Veronica had been romping and playing as we had often seen them do. Apparently, Betty had gotten Veronica’s collar caught in her mouth and it had wedged between her teeth. Veronica had struggled to get away and in the process her collar had twisted around to the point of choking her to death. The collar was still wedged so tightly in Betty’s teeth that she couldn’t get away. That is why she was lying on top of Veronica and wouldn’t get up when called. My husband had to cut the collar off Veronica and literally pull it from Betty’s teeth.

I spent the next week seeing everything through a blur of tears. My heart ached for Veronica’s death, for Betty and how she must have felt in the minutes after the accident, but most of all for my children and the grief they felt.

The passage of time heals our wounds and eases our grief. As I write this, Betty, who was supposed to be an outside dog, lies sleeping on the daybed behind me. I wonder sometimes when she dreams if it’s about Veronica…or if she even remembers Veronica. I know that I’ll never forget Veronica or how she taught my children far more than just how to be responsible.

Marylake

Marylake, a Carmelite monastery located in rural central Arkansas, has always fascinated me. My grandmother lived outside of Little Rock near a small community called Landmark and the drive to her house took us past the monastery. It’s a beautiful building set in equally beautiful surroundings. As a child, I always knew we were “almost there” when the monastery came into view. My mother would tell me stories about visits there as a little girl with her father. Her sister’s senior prom was held there in the mid 30s. Originally built in 1926 by Masons, it didn’t become a monastery until 1952.

My aunt still lives in that area and every time I go to see her I comment that I should have brought a camera so I could stop and take some pictures on my way home. This past Monday I finally remembered.

The monastery has a blog called Monastery of Marylake. Check it out if you’d like to see more pictures or learn more about their community. In the meantime, here are a couple of the photos I took.