Pain and Suffering

How do I even begin to relate the events of yesterday?

I’m not sharing this as an attempt to garner sympathy and I apologize if it horrifies or offends those who are soft-hearted when it comes to animals. What I’m trying to do is face up to what happened, deal with my hurt, anger and grief, and move on with my life. Some of you will understand my conflicting emotions, others may not. Regardless, please bear with me.

Those that followed my 360 blog knew that we occasionally had problems with our outside dogs bothering our goats. Once Daisy died, Hope and Bella quit roaming as much and were content to stay home. That changed when “Harry” arrived on the scene. We never really claimed him as our own despite the fact he spent the majority of his time at our house and ate our food. He liked to roam and most of the time our girls went with him.

Let me switch for a moment to our donkeys. On Monday morning my husband discovered that Sweet Baby, our favorite girl, had given birth for the first time. She was doing well and appeared to be a good mother so far. I was looking forward to seeing them and getting some pictures once the rain cleared out.

Yesterday morning my husband came upon a gruesome site. The dogs had attacked Sweet Baby and her baby and both donkeys were still alive and suffering. I don’t really know the exact timeline and details, nor do I want to. My husband had to put down the donkeys and our livestock partner shot Harry on the spot. He hesitated long enough that Hope and Bella got away, but knew that he or my husband would have to do something about them later.

They were both in the yard when I got home from my Bible study. After hearing what had happened I knew what needed to be done. I called my vet for confirmation and he agreed that there was no guarantee they wouldn’t attack more of our livestock. We’ve had two new calves in the past three days plus a couple more the past month. The donkeys were our pets, but the cattle are a business.

I loaded them into the truck and took them to the vet’s to be put down. At this point, I don’t know which upsets me more… the senseless death and suffering of those poor donkeys or what I had to do to my Hope and Bella.

It was a rough night. I woke during those dark, wee hours when everything seems its bleakest and had trouble going back to sleep. I know I’ll get over it. This isn't the first heartache I've dealt with concerning our animals and I know it won't be the last.

I’ve found myself hugging my inside pups more closely today.